Been blog surfing.  Finding some interesting/scary/interesting blogs.  I read this this morning.  It scares me that if I were brave enough to admit it…..this makes sense to me.  Really scares me.  There is a group of people out in blog land…large group, who used to be part of charismatic spirit filled churches…and are no longer.  Reasons being what she states below. Even reading what I just wrote….”spirit filled churches”, perhaps that’s the problem right there.  We’ve been focusing on making sure our CHURCHES are Spirit filled, instead of us, or our people?!? UGH!

Here’s what I read:
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I’ve decided. I’m going to the next level in God. I’m going to be empowered by an incredible, enthusiastic, visionary leader and take this city for Christ. I’m going to be a vibrant, passionate, charismatic believer who takes excellence seriously. I’m joining a vibrant, contemporary, growing church with a powerful message that impacts the world and has a vision statement that involves loving life, loving people and loving God. I’m getting connected to a small group that will move me into that next level and take me into the unknown, teaching me to drink that living water and walk by faith. I have a vision for this nation, I’m going to see revival sweep across this land.

Apologies to those who just choked on their coffee, but does any of that sound familiar?

These are words that echo in my mind. I used to love them, these broad sweeping christianese terms. They made me feel powerful and excited. They swept me up in emotion. They were often accompanied by music from the keyboard and shouts from the pulpit. They called me to action. Well, for a moment anyway. Then I had coffee.

Unfortunately, after all those years of proclamations, nothing changed. I didn’t change. I got whipped up into a frenzy, but I certainly didn’t impact anybody around me. I most definitely didn’t get to any “next level”. I really wonder what the “next level” is anyway. Is it like a coloured karate belt? A school diploma?

I also wonder what would actually have happened if I did instead of proclaimed. If I visited instead of excelled and gave that cup of water instead of drinking it myself.

I’m sure the lack of action can come down to my own decisions. After all, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. It just would have been nice to have an actual water trough in sight, though.
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What an opportunity to hear the “voice of disappointment” in the church today.  I wonder what “we” the church, will do with this knowledge?  Anything?  Or just chalk it up as “their issues”, or “this is how deceived you get when you leave the church”.
This may be the very root to the disappointment I myself have felt often. (Though I have recently had my eyes opened in a major way to ONE who IS, as opposed to the CHURCH that is trying to BE)  Perhaps the very root to disappointment in the church as a whole.  How to be “Jesus” and His light to these ones, when we are still wearing this “ugly” garment called “it’s all about the church”??
What will happen to me when this begins to make more sense to me than what we are currently doing in the church?  Or when God says “okay, these are the one’s I’ve called you to”.  Or when He says “go to them”.  Because they sure are not going to come to a church.  Neither are they going to listen to someone promoting one.  So, what happens when I stop promoting “the church” and promote Jesus instead?  I’d like to hope the answer to that would be thrilling applause, but I also highly doubt that will be the case.
But I do hear the call.
This is exactly the disappointment He yanked me from when I first heard Him whisper His love to me in 1994.  I was a victim of “churchianity”, and “ministryanity” and “notenoughtimeforyoucauseweareintheministryanity” from my parents.
Perhaps this is why I just cannot every find satisfaction in any “niche” I fill in the church.  Even as a minister!
Not that I’m leaving the church.  No way.  I’m just the kind of person to believe that God can do miracles:)  After all…I am one.